Sunday, January 13, 2008
Friday, January 4, 2008
for example, not until driver's ed in 10th grade did i learn that this:
does not tell drivers that they are in the middleish part of california, where i in fact was, as i grew up there. (if you need such a broad landmark to tell you where you are, you probably should not be driving. however, this never occurred to me. i mean, look at california:. you can see the similarity in shape, can't you?)
another example happened just THIS YEAR. you know the phrase, "smooth move, ex-lax?" now, i always knew when you would USE this phrase, but only a few months ago did it dawn on me, the EXACT meaning of this phrase.i never had thought it was a particularly clever expression, but my curiosity went no further. now i know.
i know i have other examples of this. i actually find them really amusing. i don't always find it easy to laugh at myself, but in this case i can't help it, and i invite you all to laugh at me.
and in addition to marveling at what an idiot i can be, i will anticipate eagerly the next epiphany that everyone else in the world already knows.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
i'm going to stop pretending that i will ever make anything. i don't have the patience. i won't peel the labels off those wine bottles and make a collage. i won't use the adorable sur la table gift boxes i got for my wedding as matting for a picture in the kitchen. i won't melt down all those used candles into new ones (though i HAVE done that, once.) what i WILL do is throw/give away/recycle all that stuff i was collecting to craft with, and stay away from michaels.
1. gabriele. for a boy.
2. kiaya. this was meant to be "kaya." i think the mom combined "kaya" and "kaia" and got this ridiculous combination. i thought of her as "kee-ya-ya."
3. gyno. for gino. this is an NCAA basketball player. too bad it looks more like "vagina doctor."
4. deeby. for debby. poor girl has to introduce herself by saying, "i know it looks like deeby, but it sounds like debby."
i know there are more, and i look forward to adding to the list.
while i'm on the subject of pet peeves, can i mention when people misuse the word "I" when trying to be gramatically correct? "please call my husband or I at home." Me is not a dirty word. sometimes it's the right choice.
and here's something i learned from a family circus cartoon: use "fewer" instead of "less" if you're talking about something that you can count. i.e., drink less alcohol, make fewer mistakes (those are two unrelated examples. i don't believe that sentiment for a second.)